polemical | open post

[He snorts a laugh, shaking his head] Dee, we're not in the Great Depression anymore, we have other forms of entertainment, and don't get me wrong, some people would absolutely come check it out just to see what the fuck was going on, but like... He was selling signed postcards and stuff, I can't do that if I'm walking on my hands.

[He can't actually see that decision being made, partly because he's now trying to figure out how someone could hand-walk more than a few yards without all the blood going to their head and causing them to pass out.]

Learn to write with your feet. [ The duh is implied by her tone alone, but there's still a grin tugging at the edge of her mouth. ] People do it all the time.

[ Chris can take all the time he wants to figure out the mechanics of not getting a head-rush, Eddie's going to let herself wallow for a moment in how much she likes it when he calls her Dee. It's pathetic, probably, but he's the only person she knows who does it and it feels really nice. Special. Like she's not just some weird blip on his social radar, like they're friends. Friends have special names for each other, right? Nicknames nobody else can use?

Yeah, that's just a friend thing. Nothing to see here, folks! ]

I... don't think that's going to be a solution, actually. Also, like, I'd need some kind of walking gloves, like... hand-shoes and I don't think that's something that actually exists.

[She's probably going to be disappointed when she finds out that he calls her that because the first time he heard someone call her by name he thought they'd said 'Deedee' and hadn't questioned it until he actually knew her.]

Seriously though, I'm not built for that kind of marathon, I'm a sprinter, real fast in short bursts.

This kind of defeatist attitude isn't going to get you anywhere in life, [ she teases, jostling her elbow into his as Chris tries yet again to come up with a reason her excellent ideas won't work. ] If there aren't any hand-shoes out on the market, you should just invent some. There's going to be people out there who'll use them, I guarantee it. [ Maybe not that many of them, but they definitely exist. They have to. There's a market for everything.

And he's right, that would be disappointing. She's going to stick to her delusions that he decided to call her that because he thinks she's special or something. ]

Yeah, I bet you're real fast in shorts. [ Because he wears them to run in. Get it? ]

Hey now, that defeatist attitude got me second runner-up in the Hawkins Junior Sad-Sack competition back in fourth grade. [The fact that he's practically shaking with suppressed laughter gives that away as the horrible joke that it is.

That second statement, though, that has him pausing for a moment, considering] You know, you can come watch practice any time, there's no rules against that. And there's a meet coming up, home turf advantage. [He bites the inside of his cheek for a moment, not entirely sure why he's suddenly nervous, this isn't anything new, it's just inviting a friend to watch him compete.] I'm sure you've seen the posters, though, they've been up for weeks now.

[ Eddie's laughing too, crowing Sad Sack! with glee as she wiggles a little, slipping from her place on the couch to slide a little closer to him. It's not her fault the cushions are old and kind of shitty, okay, she doesn't notice what she's doing.

Or does she? ]

That's not really what it's called, is it? [ Eddie moved to Hawkins in junior-high, not-quite twelve years old and absolutely terrified of being dropped in a new city to live with a man she she didn't really know but who shared her father's face. It worked out in the end, obviously, but the first year or so was a difficult adjustment. She certainly hadn't paid attention to what any of the sports teams were doing.

She rolls her head a little on the back of the couch so she can look at Chris in profile, her eyebrows lifting. ] I wouldn't distract you? [ Not that she thinks he's so taken with her that just seeing her in the bleachers would be enough to get him off his game — a girl can hope but she's not delusional — but she knows her presence would probably cause a bit of a commotion with the others in attendance. She knows she's not usually a part of that scene. ]

[His laugh finally breaks through at that first question, shaking his head] Dee, I made that one up, defeatist attitude? Sad-sack competition? How else would you win one of those?"

[He shakes his head then, jostling her shoulder once more] Of course you wouldn't, I'm used to being watched. [He clearly has no idea how sinister that comes across as and his brow creases a moment later] Unless you're planning on starting a fistfight or something. [He doesn't actually think that's her style, but he also doesn't know just how deep some people's dislike of her went, if someone else might try to cause a scene just because of her being there.]

[ Chris laughs at her and she squawks, outraged. ] Fuck off! How was I supposed to know whether or not that was a real thing? [ She shoves him to really sell her indignation, but it's probably pretty obvious that she's mostly pretending. Chris doesn't really laugh out loud at school, sticking to quiet chuckles and smiles and shit, and it's nice. She barely even minds that he's laughing at her.

Once again, she has to bite back an inappropriate comment about an audience; Chris literally just finished telling her that he considers seminary school a punishment his parents would consider, he does not put on a show for anyone.

Keep it in your fucking pants, Munson. ]

I might, [ she threatens darkly, though again, she's just talking shit. ] If someone trips you I promise I'll start throwing hands.

Yeah, you're definitely a little drunk, you would have caught on way quicker otherwise. Wordplay, you know? [One of the things she's good at that he's always been a little envious of, at least, for as long as he's known she's good at it.]

You know what? [He's clearly not expecting an answer, since he just continues, brow still creased] That's actually the nicest thing anyone's offered to do for me.

Nah. [ Eddie waves a dismissive hand, still half-slumped into Chris' personal space. It's partly that she is a little drunk and doesn't want to bother moving, but it's also that he smells nice and she doesn't want to bother moving. Chris is just nice in general. She's probably taking advantage of him. ] I'm on track to fail senior year a third time. I ain't catching shit.

[ He's probably joking, but Eddie can't help but feel a little stricken at that flippant comment of his. What the hell is that supposed to mean? It makes no sense. Chris is everything an American teenager is supposed to be. Polite, good-looking, athletic... People have to be doing nice things for him all the time, right? That's like a law of the universe or something.

She scoffs, though her heart's not in it. ] You gotta raise your standards, babe.

[He probably should mind having her that far into his personal space, but he really doesn't and can't make himself be bothered by it, either.] I probably do, yeah, but I mean it. Even Jason never offered to beat anybody up for cheating and I'm pretty sure that actually goes against some kind of best friend code.

[He shrugs, a little exaggerated, but not by much, the narrowness of his shoulders does most of the work] I never offered either, but basketball refs actually pay attention, and anyway I'm a lover, not a fighter.

[ It does go against Eddie's personal Best Friend Code™, but even though she's more than tipsy, she manages to bite her tongue about it. Chris' friendship with Jason is a well-known longstanding thing. A town as small as theirs, the two of them both being as athletic as they are, everyone knows way too many details about them. Eddie knows they've been friends far longer than she's been viewed as the local Satanist, so maybe they have an understanding that she just doesn't get. ]

I'll be your new best friend, Chrissy, [ she offers, then immediately snorts out a laugh as she shakes her head. ] Sorry. That sounded better in my head.

[ So distracted by her weird word-vomit, she barely registers the wide-open playing field of "I'm a lover, not a fighter." All she does is just elbow him and giggle some more. ]

[He looks mostly confused by the nickname, it's a new one after all, but also just a little bit completely delighted] Chrissy? Seriously? That's... um, actually I think that's the first time anyone's called me that, too, while we're on firsts. Not even my brother when he was learning to talk.

[Though that at least is mostly because Laura would never have allowed such a thing to happen.]

[ For a moment, Eddie watches Chris out of the corner of her eye, waiting for him to be upset that she called him what could be considered a pretty feminine nickname — she picked a male name for herself on purpose, but that's not even remotely the same thing — but it seems that her worries are for naught, because he's still grinning at her.

She visibly relaxes, gesturing between them with expansive gestures. ] Yeah! You know... Eddie, Chrissy... [ The final syllable of both names is drawn out dramatically, a long eee as she flutters her fingers between them, the low light from the nearby lamp winking off her rings. ] Now we match.

[One brow lifts, just a little, though the smile is still in evidence, the question at least partly teasing but also partly serious] Does that mean I should stop calling you Dee?

[She hasn't objected to the nickname before, but that doesn't mean she actually likes it, it might just be that it's more tolerable than other things she's been called.] You know, so we match?

[ Chris really is such a nice boy. Nice enough that she truly doesn't understand what the hell he's doing with her, just being her friend in general, but also what he's doing here right now, in her house, keeping her company just because she's drunk and a little lonely. What the hell, man. She's not used to people being nice to her like this without some kind of ulterior motive, but one look into Chris' big blue eyes and she's convinced he's never had an ulterior motive in his life, that cherubic bastard. ]

What, no, I like that one! [ Maybe she's a little too quick to protest, something that makes her flush self-consciously. Hopefully he doesn't notice. Or at least doesn't call her out on it. ] I mean. I could call you Cee, I guess. Then we'd still match. You know, if you wanted us to.

[His own smile twists just a little at that] Could, but I guess that means you never heard about Jason and C.C. 'Carbon Copy'.

[He shakes his head, not quite brushing it off, because he does go on to explain] My first year of high school was Jason's second, so I was doing everything he'd already done, like a ditto sheet. Honestly it's why I got into track instead of basketball.

[There were other reasons, but that was a deciding factor in it all.]

[ While Eddie does know more about Chris and Jason's friendship than she really cares to — such is the risk she runs existing in the periphery of the popular kids; she also knew way too much about Steve and Nancy before she even spoke a single word to either of them — she hadn't really heard about C.C. before. Or at least, not enough for her to have retained any information about it.

It doesn't take a genius or someone particularly observant to see that Chris feels pretty sour about it, so that makes Eddie's gut-reaction incredibly easy to sink into. Wrinkling her nose in a way she probably hopes looks cute but mostly makes her look like she's smelled something foul, she shakes her head. ] Oh, gross. Okay, well, I'm never calling you that again, so. I'll come up with something, don't worry.

[ She knocks her knee into his, mostly because she's a touchy drunk and she's trying to not make it weird by, like, grabbing his hand or something. ] And you know my feelings about basketball. [ Everyone at school knows her feelings about basketball. ] Running is cool, though. Running is useful. Like, imagine if you were being chased by an axe-murderer or something. You'd be totally fine, no worries at all.

Edited (forgot an entire paragraph lmao) 2023-11-12 04:19 (UTC)

[That? That gets an actual smile and a bump of his shoulder against hers in return for the knee-knock] Dee. We'd have to go to the next county to find somebody who doesn't know your opinions about basketball. [He means it as a tease, he really does, but it comes out altogether too serious even despite the very nearly lopsided smile]

I mean, I'm also pretty sure we'd have to go the next county over to find an actual axe-murderer, but who knows, maybe I'm wrong on that one. Not that I actually want to test this theory, but I'm pretty sure you're right and I could. [That one at least comes out properly teasing.]

[ His smile is cute. Eddie doesn't mind being teased like this, even if maybe normally she'd be bristling a little if it were anyone else, if they were anywhere else. It's different when it's just the two of them alone together, it's easier for her to not take things so seriously. ] I just believe in clear communication, that's all.

[ She sniffs primly, feeling kind of pleased with herself that Chris seems to think she's funny and wanting to keep it going. ] We gotta work on your weight training now, sunshine. I can't run for shit and you wouldn't leave me behind, would you?

[ She widens her eyes playfully at him, giving him her best doe-eyed pleading look which is surprisingly good, considering the rest of her general appearance. It also doesn't seem to occur to her that she could take up running, maybe. ]

You think I can't hoist your beanpole ass? [This is, apparently, a genuine question as he follows it up by batting at her knee with the back of his hand as he rolls to his feet] Up, let's go. Gonna show you something you clearly didn't take into account, which is leverage.

[Does it occur to him that literally picking her up while she's tipsy is probably a bad idea? Not even remotely, because she might have been teasing but now he's got to defend his own honor, or something.]

[ Eddie is so busy parroting an outraged beanpole?? at Chris that she almost doesn't register his intentions except for how he shifts away from her and climbs up to his feet. ]

What? No, come on, you're joking. [ Eddie's been the tallest in her friend group for most of her life, even though most of her friends are boys and even after most of her boy friends hit their growth spurts. She's used to being too everything, really. Too tall, too loud, too opinionated. She's not exactly big, considering how irregularly she remembers to eat actual meals, but she's definitely as tall as most of her male classmates if not taller.

She hasn't been picked up since she was a little girl.

And yet she finds herself getting to her feet too, inexorably drawn to follow Chris as he shuffles around the coffee table to stand in the middle of the room. ] What the fuck are you talking about, leverage.

[She's a full head taller than Chris, at least as far as he can figure, but that's not going to stop him, either, just circling behind her, shifting his weight from foot to foot for a moment until he settles, planting his feet, bending his knees just enough for the aforementioned leverage. Which is when he snakes both arms around her hips and just lifts.

Granted, it's not far, but her feet are definitely off the floor and he sets her down again gently once she's had time to realize, and he's grinning as he circles around in front of her again] But, obviously, that's no good for running at the same time, I'd be smacking your head into door frames and low hanging branches and shit, but we shouldn't forget that I was actually a boy scout and I learned how to do a fireman's carry when I was like, twelve. Here.

[She's definitely too tall for a straight over the shoulder, not unless she's unconscious and he only has to carry her a short distance, but ducking in under her arm with a shoulder against her side to hoist her up across his shoulders seems like something that should take more effort than it does. Though he does, once again put her down a moment later, making sure she's steady on her feet with a hand against her side] That's what I'm talking about, leverage.

[ Eddie doesn't really do herself any favors most of the time by wearing thick combat boots four days out of five, but now that she's at home, she's barefoot which does bring her slightly closer to Chris in height. Slightly.

Not that it seems to matter much, considering she's pretty sure he's going to put his arms around her and hoist and she won't move at all, a move she's gotten fairly used to over the years, which is why her yelp of surprise when he actually does lift her is so high-pitched. It's mostly just because she's been startled, though, she's not actually upset by the move, which might be why he tries it again, this time coming around to her side and slipping an arm around her.

She has just enough time to bark out, ] Christian Middle Name Cunningham, don't you dare—! [ before she's up off the ground again, this time with quite a bit more lift as she laughs through her shrieking. ] What the fuck, oh my god.

[ It's almost disappointing to be set back down again. That was weirdly fun, actually. ] I want to say I'm taking offense at not being bridal-carried, but if you were running for our lives I think I'll take what I can get.

[He's laughing as well, can't help it, really, because that's definitely more of a reaction than he'd expected to get, but he steers her gently back to the couch as he explains] Yeah, bridal carry takes arm and shoulder strength I don't have, so we'd be right back to the weight training idea, but also the same banging your head on things problem that a straight lift would have.

[He shrugs then, only slightly exaggerated] But like, I'm pretty sure the chances of us having to actually run for our lives are slim to none. Even more so if I'd actually have to carry you, but we know I can!

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Sorry for the delay, things have been BUSY AS HELL but seem to be settling down

no worries! glad things are getting easier!

lol should have known better than to say anything, been battling a cold for the past few days

lol oh no sorry for jinxing you

HA! I mean, I said it first, so it's at least partly my own fault

even so let's just not mention it again so you escape a repeat performance

Exactly! Just not saying anything and we'll see how that goes!

it's a foolproof plan

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