open post

[polemical]

open post.
you know the drill.

Comments

[polemical]

oh, okay. if you say so.

i'm not an idiot, harrington, i know you're asking about a weapon. i just don't know if there are any lying around up for grabs.

look. worst case there's a woodshop here and a lot of carpenter-builder types. you could just ask one of them to make one for you, it can't be that hard.

[pinch_hitter]

So did you even read my first text or were you too hung up on getting to make penis jokes.

[polemical]

i answered your question. it's not my fault you didn't like it.

[pinch_hitter]

Pretty sure you just reframed all the stuff I said but okay.

[polemical]

i answered your question and then i agreed with your plan to get one made. what more do you want from me?

look. do you want me to go with you from store to store until you find someone to help you? i'll even hold your hand if you're scared. i know you're not used to dealing with people who are actually competent.

[pinch_hitter]

What??

No I didn't have a

I just wanted to know

Oh my god.

[polemical]

it's okay. you don't have to be embarrassed. lots of people don't know how to use a lathe.

[pinch_hitter]

Christ Munson if you were gonna help this whole time couldn't you have just said that from the start instead of being impossible? Alright like. How big a piece of wood do I need? Stupid question, bat-sized. I can do that.

[polemical]

why the hell would i have done that?

just be careful you don't pick up a piece of wood someone was gonna use for a construction project, now.

[pinch_hitter]

I was literally going to chop a branch off a tree. Do people mark the branches they're gonna use?

[polemical]

no, you should be fine. i just didn't want you selecting a 4x6 that you found leaning against a wall somewhere. tommy miller would have your hide for that shit.

[pinch_hitter]

I'm not an idiot I wouldn't have done that.

[No taking random boards, check. And Tommy scares the hell outta him, just for the record.]

So where's your lathe?

[polemical]

[ That's up for debate. ]

just wanted to make sure.

in my woodshop, of course. where else would i keep a lathe?

[ She's going to have to go bother Joel to get him to show her what the fuck to do so she doesn't embarrass herself if this stupid joke — she's pretty sure it's just a joke, but who knows? — goes any further. ]

[pinch_hitter]

How did you even get a woodshop? Probably cos you're friends with Joel and how did THAT even happen anyway?

[polemical]

why ask me a question if you're just going to answer it in the next breath?

[ So she doesn't have to answer, perfect. ]

because of my winning personality, obviously.

[pinch_hitter]

HAHA yeah right no really

[polemical]

go fuck yourself, harrington, i am a DELIGHT.

[pinch_hitter]

Joel is possibly the coolest guy in this entire town and you're telling me that he hangs out with you because you're a delight.

[polemical]

hahaha i'm gonna tell him you said that. you think joel miller is COOL? okay.

[ Like she doesn't hang on every word that comes out of that man's mouth. Look. It's different, okay, shut up. ]

and yes. that's exactly what i'm telling you.

[pinch_hitter]

What do I care? I don't care. Yeah I think he's cool but obviously you're a knock on his record.

[polemical]

okay that's great to know. i will definitely tell him. i'll tell him you said that, too.

[pinch_hitter]

Munson

Munson listen don't actually tell him that. Obviously why would you do that. You don't need to do that.

[polemical]

not so cool and collected when i'm calling your bluff, are you?

[pinch_hitter]

You know

You're a mean person. A very mean person.

[polemical]

you're just sensitive because you're sheltered and grew up without having to share your bed with a raccoon like the rest of us.