[He can't help but laugh at the clarification, just a little, but it's not mocking, it's just because of the vehemence in her tone] Yeah, they definitely are. [A shrug follows, circling back to the previous question] And yeah I did, last summer was my last one, though, but I'm pretty sure mom expects me to go back as a counselor, at least as long as Jeremy's still going, but even that's just another couple years.
[Jason is exactly the kind of idiot that would try it, and get caught at it, and not be deterred from trying again the following week.]
[ Eddie wouldn't be thinking about Hunky Jesus, but then again, Eddie doesn't really think about Jesus much at all, so she's not a great authority on this subject.
She huffs when Chris admits he'll probably keep attending camp even when he ages out of it. ] Please tell me counselors get paid, at least.
[ There's a part of her that's deathly curious about what the hell it is they do at church camp, like, honestly what's the point? But it's probably a bunch of Bible study, or something equally boring, or maybe it's just regular summer camp but they say prayers over their meals or something like that. She'd assume he enjoys it which is why he goes back every summer, but she also knows his mom probably makes him go regardless of how he feels about it, so that assumption doesn't hold much weight. ]
Oh they absolutely do not, [he shakes his head] it's volunteer service. The pastors get paid, though, they always do.
[As far as he knows it's about the same as a regular summer camp, just with bible study in the evenings for the older groups, and with all the activities tied in -with varying degrees of success- to a bible story or tenet or just a way of living By The Path.]
[ She struggles up to a slightly more upright position, once again bracing herself on his leg so she can look into his face with a surprisingly intense expression on hers, considering the subject matter. ]
Then say no. [ Easier said than done, she gets that, but still. ] You could do anything after graduation, Chris, don't waste your time doing something you hate if you aren't even getting paid for it. Go be a lifeguard, or walk people's dogs, or join Harrington at Family Video.
[The smile is small, but it's there, she's not saying anything he hasn't already thought] She hasn't said anything about it yet, but that's because she expects me to just know, and I do, or I wouldn't be saying it to you.
[He shakes his head then, smile emerging just a little further] And trust me, me and Jeremy are already trying to convince her that it'll be good for him to have at least one year where he's not living directly in my shadow, but that's... well it's the long game, and she's been playing it a lot longer than we have.
What if we find a better option for you for the summer? She can't be mad if you find something that'll look better on your resume than camp counselor, right?
[ Like Eddie has any fucking idea how the hell she could help Chris get a better job than the guaranteed spot he has waiting for him at his church camp. But she's serious. ]
You know, I'm decent at forging shit. We don't even have to find you a real job, I bet I could doctor up convincing paperwork.
[The thing is it's not even a guaranteed spot, he'll have to submit his application and qualifications the same as anyone else, it's just that in his case it'll be seen as some kind of personal failing if he doesn't get in. Something else he's mostly trying not to think about.]
Oh trust me, she'd call to make sure it was legitimate, especially if I haven't mentioned it before, but I'm working on that too. That actual job responsibility is something I should learn, managing my time and all that.
[ She shakes her head at him, frowning a little while she settles back against him. ]
Chris, I gotta tell you, your mom sounds like a fucking alien, from outer fucking space. [ Eddie knows she's got a skewed perception of how parents are supposed to behave, but this is really taking things to a new level. ]
Oh she sounds like something, alright. [It's an easy agreement to make, nothing he hasn't said before but nothing specific enough that he'll feel guilty about it or feel like she'll somehow know he's been badmouthing her.
He doesn't think she's got psychic powers, and even if she does she'll deny them, but he knows she's good at reading him.]
[ Wayne is one of those parental guardian figures who's more hand off than anything else, and Eddie really appreciate that about him. Sometimes, it feels a little bit like they're roommates instead of family, but she wouldn't change what they have for the world. He's the only parent she ever had who ever seemed to give a shit about her. ]
College. [He barely manages not to roll his eyes] College is all part of the plan, I'm supposed to call home on the weekends and come home to visit for breaks, and otherwise focus on my studies, and if I meet a nice girl I have to make sure she's not going to be a distraction. [And there's the eye-roll]
And if I don't meet a nice girl I can always find one in the congregation when I come home with a degree after graduation, and I can get a job and settle down with two kids and a dog, and honestly, between you and me, I don't know if college was even my idea at this point or if it's all just part of the plan she laid out before I was even born.
[He shakes his head as soon as he's said it, brow furrowing] I shouldn't just be dumping this on you, Dee, I'm sorry. It just kind of came out.
[ From her boom box, the cassette croons out That someone is there for you / To catch you when you fall / To make your life brand new / To give you all... and Eddie finds herself reaching over his lap to grasp at the hands he doesn't have slid around her back, sliding her fingers through his and squeezing tightly. ]
Don't apologize, sunshine. [ She appreciates the honesty, honestly, and even if the idea of Chris being so unhappy makes her stomach flip. ]
I wish I could help. But the only suggestion I have is us pretending to date to piss her off, and that will probably only make the situation worse.
[He wheezes a half-strangled little noise that's definitely a laugh] That would be so much worse, Dee. [He shakes his head] Enough worse that it might almost be worth it, except you definitely don't deserve whatever would happen in the fallout.
[He's still not sure how the two of them became allies, let alone friends, but he's thankful for it, even if just for insane ideas like this one.]
[ She huffs a little when he shoots her down, torn between relieved and offended. The idea of dating Chris but just to piss off his mom is both appealing but also disappointing. Better to not examine that too much and focus on how sucky his mom is. ] I could take it!
[ She's trying not to question it too much, because she's found that being Chris's friend is actually really nice and she's afraid if she pushes too hard things will fall apart. ]
She'd be fucking furious, huh? Lock you in your tower and not let you out for anything.
[He doesn't mean turning her down as a bad thing, it really is just for her protection.] Yeah she would, it wouldn't even just be a tower, I'd be sent all the way off to a convent, basically. And you...
[He shakes his head] I don't know, she'd figure something out, though.
I'd come break you out of your nunnery, Chrissy. It would be a daring heist, full of drama and danger and shit. Some real blockbuster shenanigans. They'd write songs about us. Okay. I'd write songs about us, but they'd sell really well. Then you wouldn't have to get a job, because my band would make a killing singing songs about us and you could just live off the royalties like a spoiled house-husband or something.
[ That...got a little bit away from her. Oops. ]
But for real. If I can help you... Please tell me.
[His brow furrows more and more deeply as she continues, but so do the lines at the corners of his mouth indicating a suppressed smile, because even as off the rails as that promise has gotten, it's still so very her that he can't help but be charmed.
He nods at the actual sentiment] I will, Dee. Promise, you'll be the first one to know.
[Possibly because asking Jason for any kind of actual help is useless, but that's not something to worry about right at the moment.]
Promise. [ She lets go of his hand for just long enough to twist her wrist around so she can link her pinky through his, curling them together and squeezing tightly. ]
I got a big van, we can stuff it full of your shit and hit the road.
[He can't help but smile at that as well, he hasn't made a pinky promise in years, but he knows even now they're the most unbreakable kind of promise.] It won't come to that, at least not anytime soon, otherwise you'll just get flagged as aiding and abetting a runaway.
[He tilts his head from side to side, considering] There's worse things to put you on the radar, I guess.
[ She huffs with annoyance, grumbling under her breath. ] Never thought I'd say this, but I miss Hop. Powell would pull me over just for shits and giggles, but Hopper was cool.
[ He let her off with more than one warning when he caught her doing something stupid when she was younger. She was sad to hear he died in the mall fire. ]
She'd probably have gone running to Powell anyway, I got to hear all about how Hopper 'just wasn't qualified' for the position. [He shakes his head in something like exasperation] If he wasn't qualified he wouldn't have the position, right?
[His brow creases] Or, wouldn't have had, I guess.
Hopper was harder to sway, I think. [ He certainly wasn't swayed by all of her best attempts at excuses, though while he'd usually take her in to the station to wait for Wayne to come collect her, he wouldn't actually book her for anything, even if he caught her red-handed trying to deface property or whatever.
By the time she graduated to crimes worse than petty vandalism, they had come to a sort of "not in my sight" agreement which she greatly appreciated.
She's pretty sure Hop and Rick used to be buddies, back in the ancient times. Rick always was pretty sure he wouldn't get in trouble with the law when it came to his drugs. After Hopper died, though, Powell cracked down on a lot of shit and Rick got sent away. ]
[He looks aghast, though it's clearly put-on given the hand he presses to his chest] And take a job away from a man that deserves it? She would never.
[A small smile follows] And yeah, Hopper was harder to sway, and more than that he'd actually call her on shit, always professional, but he would. I think my favorite was, [he clears his throat, and while it's not a pitch-perfect impression of Hopper, it's reasonably close, especially the level of exasperation in tone and expression] 'Ma'am, if you want to police what your neighbors do on their own property you're welcome to take the deputy training course and do so officially if it's actually against the law, otherwise you'll just have to start an HOA'
[ Eddie's always been a big girl. She hit her growth spurts early, earlier than most of her peers, and she's pretty much kept pace since. Even once she hit high school, and her male friends hit their growth spurts, she tends to be one of the tallest people in the room. It means she's never been able to do the girly behaviors that smaller people can, the tucking yourself under someone's arm, the curling up tight in a small chair, and she's never really minded much.
Now she doesn't mind for a slightly different reason: when she brings her legs up to curl up a little, she winds up sort of spilling over Chris's lap since they're sitting so close and he still has one arm behind her.
She laughs at his impression, shoving him a little. ] That was good! I can't believe he said that to your mom, though. How pissed was she?
[The arm around her stays right where it is, swaying with the shove even as he smiles again, relaxing more easily once more. He's still not sure what it is about her that puts him so at ease, but he's also not about to start questioning it, because that's when whatever it is will stop working.]
Oh she was pissed, I'm pretty sure that's the first time she tried to get support for having him fired.
[The first time, because he knows it happened at least three times, not counting how stringently she'd objected to his appointment in the first place.]
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[Jason is exactly the kind of idiot that would try it, and get caught at it, and not be deterred from trying again the following week.]
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She huffs when Chris admits he'll probably keep attending camp even when he ages out of it. ] Please tell me counselors get paid, at least.
[ There's a part of her that's deathly curious about what the hell it is they do at church camp, like, honestly what's the point? But it's probably a bunch of Bible study, or something equally boring, or maybe it's just regular summer camp but they say prayers over their meals or something like that. She'd assume he enjoys it which is why he goes back every summer, but she also knows his mom probably makes him go regardless of how he feels about it, so that assumption doesn't hold much weight. ]
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[As far as he knows it's about the same as a regular summer camp, just with bible study in the evenings for the older groups, and with all the activities tied in -with varying degrees of success- to a bible story or tenet or just a way of living By The Path.]
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Then say no. [ Easier said than done, she gets that, but still. ] You could do anything after graduation, Chris, don't waste your time doing something you hate if you aren't even getting paid for it. Go be a lifeguard, or walk people's dogs, or join Harrington at Family Video.
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[He shakes his head then, smile emerging just a little further] And trust me, me and Jeremy are already trying to convince her that it'll be good for him to have at least one year where he's not living directly in my shadow, but that's... well it's the long game, and she's been playing it a lot longer than we have.
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[ Like Eddie has any fucking idea how the hell she could help Chris get a better job than the guaranteed spot he has waiting for him at his church camp. But she's serious. ]
You know, I'm decent at forging shit. We don't even have to find you a real job, I bet I could doctor up convincing paperwork.
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Oh trust me, she'd call to make sure it was legitimate, especially if I haven't mentioned it before, but I'm working on that too. That actual job responsibility is something I should learn, managing my time and all that.
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Chris, I gotta tell you, your mom sounds like a fucking alien, from outer fucking space. [ Eddie knows she's got a skewed perception of how parents are supposed to behave, but this is really taking things to a new level. ]
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He doesn't think she's got psychic powers, and even if she does she'll deny them, but he knows she's good at reading him.]
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What's she gonna do when you go to college?
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And if I don't meet a nice girl I can always find one in the congregation when I come home with a degree after graduation, and I can get a job and settle down with two kids and a dog, and honestly, between you and me, I don't know if college was even my idea at this point or if it's all just part of the plan she laid out before I was even born.
[He shakes his head as soon as he's said it, brow furrowing] I shouldn't just be dumping this on you, Dee, I'm sorry. It just kind of came out.
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Don't apologize, sunshine. [ She appreciates the honesty, honestly, and even if the idea of Chris being so unhappy makes her stomach flip. ]
I wish I could help. But the only suggestion I have is us pretending to date to piss her off, and that will probably only make the situation worse.
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[He's still not sure how the two of them became allies, let alone friends, but he's thankful for it, even if just for insane ideas like this one.]
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[ She's trying not to question it too much, because she's found that being Chris's friend is actually really nice and she's afraid if she pushes too hard things will fall apart. ]
She'd be fucking furious, huh? Lock you in your tower and not let you out for anything.
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[He shakes his head] I don't know, she'd figure something out, though.
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[ That...got a little bit away from her. Oops. ]
But for real. If I can help you... Please tell me.
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He nods at the actual sentiment] I will, Dee. Promise, you'll be the first one to know.
[Possibly because asking Jason for any kind of actual help is useless, but that's not something to worry about right at the moment.]
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I got a big van, we can stuff it full of your shit and hit the road.
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[He tilts his head from side to side, considering] There's worse things to put you on the radar, I guess.
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[ He let her off with more than one warning when he caught her doing something stupid when she was younger. She was sad to hear he died in the mall fire. ]
It'd be worth it, though.
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[His brow creases] Or, wouldn't have had, I guess.
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By the time she graduated to crimes worse than petty vandalism, they had come to a sort of "not in my sight" agreement which she greatly appreciated.
She's pretty sure Hop and Rick used to be buddies, back in the ancient times. Rick always was pretty sure he wouldn't get in trouble with the law when it came to his drugs. After Hopper died, though, Powell cracked down on a lot of shit and Rick got sent away. ]
Maybe your mom should be a cop.
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[A small smile follows] And yeah, Hopper was harder to sway, and more than that he'd actually call her on shit, always professional, but he would. I think my favorite was, [he clears his throat, and while it's not a pitch-perfect impression of Hopper, it's reasonably close, especially the level of exasperation in tone and expression] 'Ma'am, if you want to police what your neighbors do on their own property you're welcome to take the deputy training course and do so officially if it's actually against the law, otherwise you'll just have to start an HOA'
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Now she doesn't mind for a slightly different reason: when she brings her legs up to curl up a little, she winds up sort of spilling over Chris's lap since they're sitting so close and he still has one arm behind her.
She laughs at his impression, shoving him a little. ] That was good! I can't believe he said that to your mom, though. How pissed was she?
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Oh she was pissed, I'm pretty sure that's the first time she tried to get support for having him fired.
[The first time, because he knows it happened at least three times, not counting how stringently she'd objected to his appointment in the first place.]
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