polemical | open post

[ Eddie doesn't even care that Chris is clearly laughing at her, she just flips her hair off her face and grins at him back. ]

How can she be mad about this? They're singing about renouncing the Devil!

[ She knows enough about Chris's mom to know she can't be reasoned with, so she's not actually surprised. But complaining about it is fun, so here she is. ]

Just wait until later in the album. [ She leans closer, waggling her eyebrows. ] Their songs about loving Jesus are, uh. Suggestive.

[He laughs again, bright and easy, as much at Eddie's antics as the question itself] Well look at how they're dressed, for one.

[Another bark of a laugh at the follow-up statement] Oh well that's definitely off the table, you don't get suggestive about the Lord.

[ She keeps leaning into him, pretending it's so that she can look at the J-card in his hand and the picture of the band inside it. ] You think their hair's too big? Or is it the leather pants?

You know, my hair's pretty big. And I also own leather pants. As if your mom needs another reason to hate me.

[ Eddie's never met Chris's mom, and she's happy to keep it that way, thank you very much. Mostly because she doesn't actually like getting treated like gum on the bottom of someone's shoe, but also because she knows if it gets around that Chris is her friend, he's probably going to catch flak for it at home.

That doesn't make her get out of his space at all. ]

Well why the hell not? You know, I bet Jesus was hunky. He was a carpenter, right? I bet he was buff. I bet all the Bible ladies had the hots for him.

[It's as easy as anything to loop an arm around her waist when she's leaning that close, just to make sure she doesn't unbalance, since clearly she could use the assist with that. Any response he had to the fact of her owning leather pants was quickly forgotten in the face of what came next.]

Dee! [It's exasperated, but undeniably still amused, shaking his head] You can't just say things like that! Look, I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying you don't ask questions like that, it's definitely frowned on.

[ Oh.

Oh. Eddie can't say she was angling to get Chris to put his arm around her, but she's also definitely not complaining. In fact, the surprise of it all has her forgetting the ridiculous bullshit that was on the tip of her tongue, but she rallies pretty quickly.

Chris thinks she's funny. She's gotta keep up the schtick. ]

Ugh, fine. [ Leaning into him any more results in her just tipping into his side, her head dropping to his shoulder as she acts all dramatic about him being such a prude about her asking the real questions. ] All I'm saying is I think you guys should focus more on Hunky Jesus and his rippling muscles. Then more people would want to come to church.

But, see, that would just be playing into lust, and if that's what gets people into church that's not for the right reasons. [He's biting back another laugh even as he says it, giving a gentle shrug, careful not to dislodge her head from where she's placed it]

And besides, we talked about it in camp once, or at least my cabin did, and carpentry isn't like being a lumberjack, like sure, there's some sawing and hammer swinging and stuff, but it's more likely that the Magdalene was interested in his finger dexterity more than anything.

[A soft snort of further suppressed laughter] We also thought it was weird that his mother is named Mary, and the one woman in his inner circle is also named Mary, but I think we decided it was just that they didn't have as many names back then.

Yeah, but we've already been over how the seven deadly sins are bullshit, so.

[ The fact that he doesn't seem to mind having her draped over him is making her a little bit giddy, her fading buzz feeling like it's coming right back, but then he goes and talks about finger dexterity and she has to lift her head off his shoulder to twist and stare at him with her mouth agape. Without actually pulling away, this means she has to brace herself on his thigh to not topple right over, but that's incidental at the moment. ]

Chrissy. You talked about Jesus that way? [ The idea of Chris at some kind of church camp talking about Mary Magdalene getting fingerblasted by the Son of God is hilarious. She's learning so much about him tonight! ] What would your priest say, tsk.

[ She grins, then lets herself settle back against him again, reaching for the J-card like she cares at all about the music playing right now. She just needs an excuse to let herself slump back against his side again. ] Well. Maybe Jesus had an Oedipus complex.

Yeah we have, but the people in charge don't think they are, just saying.

[If he's surprised by how comfortable he is with her practically sprawled on him it doesn't show, because he is comfortable with it and that's all that matters.

The mock-chiding gets another laugh out of him, shaking his head] It doesn't matter what they'd say, because it's really their own fault for bunking a bunch of fourteen year old boys together literally just across the lake from the girls.

Who says the people in charge know what they're talking about, though?

[ The people in charge say that. But that doesn't mean Eddie agrees with them.

As far as what the hell she's doing lying half in his lap, well, Eddie's kind of hoping if she doesn't say anything, then Chris won't either, and then they can keep doing this without making it weird. ]

Oh man, were there any scandalous goings-on at church camp? Did anyone get caught sneaking into the girl's cabin?

[A snort of a laugh] Oh yeah, every year, usually the 16 and up group though, but sometimes the fourteens. [He shrugs] I guess the counselors don't really try to put a stop to it at the time because a group guilt-trip lecture afterward about minding expectations and making sure to keep your friends out of trouble is more effective than anything else.

[A twitch of a smile] I never got caught, though. [Whether it's because he never participated or because he's sneaky as shit when he wants to be is up for debate, and for the time being, he's not going to clarify.]

[ At Chris's confirmation, Eddie can't help the way she cackles, all her expectations fulfilled exactly as she thought they would be. ] Do they name and shame at the group meeting? That's fucked up. [ Not like everyone wouldn't know who was caught doing the sneaking anyway. Eddie's never been to summer camp in her life, let alone church camp, but she knows exactly what teenagers are like, especially in a group.

She's pretty sure Chris would never have tried to sneak into a girl's cabin, but what does she know? Still, his smug tone makes her giggle, and she elbows him lightly. ] Attaboy, Chrissy.

[ The song changes again, and she perks up a little, lifting the J-card to look at the titles before handing it to Chris. ] Oh hey, this one's about Jesus. Apparently.

Nah, they never had to, we all knew, even the twelve-and-under day camp only kids knew when the older teens had gotten in trouble, even before the lecture.

[He perks up a little at the exclamation, having to draw his head back a little so he can actually read the lyrics she's just handed him, brow creasing further and further as he does] Wow you weren't kidding about being suggestive. [There's a half-startled amusement in the statement, but amusement all the same.]

Did you go every summer? [ Does he still go now? It's hard to imagine Chris as he is now, almost an adult, sleeping in bunk beds in a cabin at some church camp, but then she reminds herself that Chris probably isn't even eighteen yet, and he just said the sixteen-and-up kids were the troublemakers.

Carver would totally be the kind of idiot who'd try to sneak into a girls' cabin at church camp.

As much as Eddie doesn't really like Stryper in general, she does kind of like Calling On You. Probably because it's not super Jesus-y, and the lyrics are ambiguous enough that you can assume they're talking about whatever you like. Or whoever you like. ] It's kind of romantic, huh. I bet they're thinking about Hunky Jesus.

[He can't help but laugh at the clarification, just a little, but it's not mocking, it's just because of the vehemence in her tone] Yeah, they definitely are. [A shrug follows, circling back to the previous question] And yeah I did, last summer was my last one, though, but I'm pretty sure mom expects me to go back as a counselor, at least as long as Jeremy's still going, but even that's just another couple years.

[Jason is exactly the kind of idiot that would try it, and get caught at it, and not be deterred from trying again the following week.]

[ Eddie wouldn't be thinking about Hunky Jesus, but then again, Eddie doesn't really think about Jesus much at all, so she's not a great authority on this subject.

She huffs when Chris admits he'll probably keep attending camp even when he ages out of it. ] Please tell me counselors get paid, at least.

[ There's a part of her that's deathly curious about what the hell it is they do at church camp, like, honestly what's the point? But it's probably a bunch of Bible study, or something equally boring, or maybe it's just regular summer camp but they say prayers over their meals or something like that. She'd assume he enjoys it which is why he goes back every summer, but she also knows his mom probably makes him go regardless of how he feels about it, so that assumption doesn't hold much weight. ]

Oh they absolutely do not, [he shakes his head] it's volunteer service. The pastors get paid, though, they always do.

[As far as he knows it's about the same as a regular summer camp, just with bible study in the evenings for the older groups, and with all the activities tied in -with varying degrees of success- to a bible story or tenet or just a way of living By The Path.]

[ She struggles up to a slightly more upright position, once again bracing herself on his leg so she can look into his face with a surprisingly intense expression on hers, considering the subject matter. ]

Then say no. [ Easier said than done, she gets that, but still. ] You could do anything after graduation, Chris, don't waste your time doing something you hate if you aren't even getting paid for it. Go be a lifeguard, or walk people's dogs, or join Harrington at Family Video.

[The smile is small, but it's there, she's not saying anything he hasn't already thought] She hasn't said anything about it yet, but that's because she expects me to just know, and I do, or I wouldn't be saying it to you.

[He shakes his head then, smile emerging just a little further] And trust me, me and Jeremy are already trying to convince her that it'll be good for him to have at least one year where he's not living directly in my shadow, but that's... well it's the long game, and she's been playing it a lot longer than we have.

What if we find a better option for you for the summer? She can't be mad if you find something that'll look better on your resume than camp counselor, right?

[ Like Eddie has any fucking idea how the hell she could help Chris get a better job than the guaranteed spot he has waiting for him at his church camp. But she's serious. ]

You know, I'm decent at forging shit. We don't even have to find you a real job, I bet I could doctor up convincing paperwork.

[The thing is it's not even a guaranteed spot, he'll have to submit his application and qualifications the same as anyone else, it's just that in his case it'll be seen as some kind of personal failing if he doesn't get in. Something else he's mostly trying not to think about.]

Oh trust me, she'd call to make sure it was legitimate, especially if I haven't mentioned it before, but I'm working on that too. That actual job responsibility is something I should learn, managing my time and all that.

[ She shakes her head at him, frowning a little while she settles back against him. ]

Chris, I gotta tell you, your mom sounds like a fucking alien, from outer fucking space. [ Eddie knows she's got a skewed perception of how parents are supposed to behave, but this is really taking things to a new level. ]

Oh she sounds like something, alright. [It's an easy agreement to make, nothing he hasn't said before but nothing specific enough that he'll feel guilty about it or feel like she'll somehow know he's been badmouthing her.

He doesn't think she's got psychic powers, and even if she does she'll deny them, but he knows she's good at reading him.]

[ Wayne is one of those parental guardian figures who's more hand off than anything else, and Eddie really appreciate that about him. Sometimes, it feels a little bit like they're roommates instead of family, but she wouldn't change what they have for the world. He's the only parent she ever had who ever seemed to give a shit about her. ]

What's she gonna do when you go to college?

College. [He barely manages not to roll his eyes] College is all part of the plan, I'm supposed to call home on the weekends and come home to visit for breaks, and otherwise focus on my studies, and if I meet a nice girl I have to make sure she's not going to be a distraction. [And there's the eye-roll]

And if I don't meet a nice girl I can always find one in the congregation when I come home with a degree after graduation, and I can get a job and settle down with two kids and a dog, and honestly, between you and me, I don't know if college was even my idea at this point or if it's all just part of the plan she laid out before I was even born.

[He shakes his head as soon as he's said it, brow furrowing] I shouldn't just be dumping this on you, Dee, I'm sorry. It just kind of came out.

[ From her boom box, the cassette croons out That someone is there for you / To catch you when you fall / To make your life brand new / To give you all... and Eddie finds herself reaching over his lap to grasp at the hands he doesn't have slid around her back, sliding her fingers through his and squeezing tightly. ]

Don't apologize, sunshine. [ She appreciates the honesty, honestly, and even if the idea of Chris being so unhappy makes her stomach flip. ]

I wish I could help. But the only suggestion I have is us pretending to date to piss her off, and that will probably only make the situation worse.

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